Being an Associate

by Leanne Shawler

When I tell people that I’ve become an Associate of Holy Cross, I get asked what exactly that is, and for some reason its difficult to explain. So here’s another crack at it.

The Mt. Calvary community defines an Associate of Holy Cross as someone who is “associated with the Order of the Holy Cross. Membership in the Associates involves both the observance of a rule of life and a relationship with our community”.

I decided to become an associate after going on retreat with the Order’s Mt. Calvary community in Santa Barbara in June 2010.  I’d been to Mt. Calvary once before on a Good Sam vestry retreat, when they were situated in the hills of Santa Barbara. Since their monastery was destroyed by fire a few years ago, they are now at the St. Mary’s Retreat House right next to Mission Santa Barbara.

The first time, I was completely confused by the way they chanted morning and evening prayer. This time though, chanting the psalms was weirdly like coming home. Not only that, but a peace descended over me that lingered throughout the day.

I loved evening prayer, and in a very unProtestant way, I loved the Marian hymn (song to Mary) sung at the end of Vespers even more. Compline and the Great Silence was just a beautiful way to end the day.  

Being on retreat there made me realize the importance of silence, and making that time to be present to God, and I’m trying (but not succeeding very well) to incorporate that into my daily life.

I wanted more of the chanting, and I wanted to live a life that is closer to God without having to constantly go on retreat. (Confessions of a Retreat Addict: 4 times in 6 months last year!)   

So I do what I often do -- read about it -- and decided that becoming an associate would be the way to achieve some of what I treasured while on retreat with the monks.

After a six month postulancy of living the rule I created based on the Order’s guidelines, I was received as an Associate in Santa Barbara at the end of May. It felt right, very very right and things fell into place in ways I did not expect. But more of that in my next post. 

Pre-Becoming an Associate Celebration on the St. Mary's Retreat House Patio

And if that's still not making sense, here's an article at the Huffington Post from another associate that may help.

What are ways you try to get closer to God?