What's In A Name?

by Rev. Rebecca Edwards

Many of you have graciously inquired what I would like to be called in my new role at Good Sam, and I appreciate that. In many ways, I am still figuring that out for myself. I have been ordained for just over a month now, and there are many aspects of ordained ministry that continue to surprise and delight me. 

Anglicans believe that there is an ontological shift that occurs in ordination – that the core of one's being is actually transformed in some way. (Of course, I think that there are other sacramental moments in our lives when that happens, like marriage or the birth of a child.) That's all to say that I am discerning my new identity as well, including whether I should take on some sort of "title."

The problem is that there aren't a lot of great options of titles for female clergy. 

Though ordained ministry has been open to women for over 30 years now in The Episcopal Church, we still don't have any type of consensus on what female clergy should be called. Many male clergy still go by "Father," a title that has been part of church tradition for hundreds of years. A surprising number of my younger seminary classmates have decided to go by "Father," usually followed by their first name or a nickname. Others have been assigned this title by their congregations, whether they like it or not.

Some of my seminary friends encouraged me to consider the parallel title of "Mother," arguing that it celebrates the unique gifts women bring to ministry. I respect those points, but I have an instinctive aversion to this title. The title of "Father" originally described male priests who didn't have families of their own, but these days I think clergy with spouses and children are more concerned with keeping good boundaries between professional and personal life, and women are especially sensitive to this. 

When I asked several female clergy friends about their reactions to being called "Mother" at church, the moms in the group all vehemently opposed it, feeling that their children shared them enough with the church as it is without having to share their name as well. There are also many, many connotations that arise with parental titles, and I think some of those associations can be unhelpful to associate with your clergy, even though we are a church family. For example, I am not here to do your laundry or pick up after you.

So "Mother Rebecca" is out. (Please.)

What I really want to go by is my given name, Rebecca. It is the name by which I was baptized, and ordained. Since I come from a family fluent in nicknames it is also for me something of a formal name. Throughout my life I have been called "Reb" by my family and close friends – you will hear Josh call me this – and "Rebecca" in school and official situations (or if I was in really big trouble).

While "Rebecca" is my first choice for being addressed at Good Sam, I appreciate that some of you might still want something that is more official-sounding or that distinguishes me from Rebecca Chase. In that case, "Reverend Rebecca" can work, or you are welcome to adopt a clever title a friend of mine coined: "Revbecca." As long as you remember that I'm not your mom, we will get along just fine!

Now I invite you to ponder the names you have taken on during the course of your own life – your given name, your married name, nicknames, titles. What gifts of identity have these names brought to you?