Are You Looking for Angels?

by Sue Garratt

One of my early memories as a 5 year old was sitting on some steps outside and looking up at clouds.   My father had died suddenly a few days earlier.  I was scanning those puffy clouds imagining that if my father were “in heaven,” as I had been told, which cloud would he pick.  My emerging five year old intellect knew that this was just an imagination. After all, I already knew that Santa Claus was not real either.    

Three years later, as a much more savvy 8 year old, I took my first plane ride.   Now, I really knew that I would not find angels bouncing from cloud to cloud…..but I had to look anyway.

I think I have always looked for angels; in my mind, they were a sign of faith.   

And while I have had moments in my life when I felt that “presence” that we all want to feel, I have had many more moments when I felt a distance.  I call those moments my “Bill Maher” days (a well known humorist/atheist on cable TV).  

It’s not that I look at the ills of the world and become discouraged about faith or religion.  I truly believe man has free will; God is not responsible when we abuse it or if we ignore the presence of His grace.   

This tenet alone attracted me to the Episcopal church as an 18 year old.   You don’t have to check your brain in at the door as the popular saying goes. Rather, it’s the incredible story that we Christians must accept.  The incredible miracle….the incredible existence of angels. 

Faith: it’s a difficult concept to swallow sometimes.  

One of my favorite lines from the movie  “Amazing Grace” is when a  young  Wilberforce approaches his mentor, John Newton, and says his faith is slowly returning but not with “bolts of lightning.”   

Newton answers, “sometimes  God does his work ……in gentle drizzles.”    

Teddy McCracken states it more literally: “It’s the small acts, Sue.   Look for the small acts.”   

In the past year, I have been the recipient of many small acts.   Looking back at the last decade plus, life has been a bit of a roller-coaster; illnesses among several family members have taken their toll.   

And I am ashamed to say, I have done my fair share of grumbling and felt guilty because I knew so many people were suffering more serious challenges and facing them so much more bravely.   

Fortunately, I have my overall good health but as such, have spent a large amount of time in doctors’ offices and emergency rooms with other family members as their caretaker, their liaison.  

On one particularly challenging day I was rushing to two separate ERs over 30 miles apart. My mother died during this period after a long battle. My husband’s health issues began accelerating and new, more serious, ones emerged. I had to take on the roles and jobs I had absolutely no experience in or aptitude for. And I was trying to maintain my own job in the afternoons teaching piano.   

I didn’t have time to ponder faith or clouds much less pray about it.   Or did I?  If I had, I would have come to know a “presence” was with me helping me accomplish what I did not think I could do.   


Finally, a little over a year ago, with my (step)father lying in critical condition in an ICU unit in Escondido, and a slab leak in my garage requiring massive re-plumbing of hot water lines throughout my home,  I was driving home in the 15 south traffic when I looked to the sky and muttered, “I can’t do this anymore.”  

There were no clouds that day….just gray sky.  No answers, no bolts of lightning….not even a drizzle.   

It took me several more weeks to gather up enough courage to walk into Chris’s office and say, “I need help.” In a matter of days, people stepped forward to come to my assistance. 

Mike spent a long afternoon educating me about closing a law practice and pitfalls to watch out for. Dave has long helped me navigate medical insurance waters. 

And one day, Bob appeared at my doorway with, “I hear you need a friend.” He brought in marvelous, caring people to help get our house ready to sell. 

Jane passed on packing boxes and more recently, a “garage sale” brigade has formed under Mary’s guidance to help me with this odious chore. My fellow altos have quietly sustained me from week to week.  

And along the way, the people of Good Sam who knew I was having a difficult time, would give me a pat on the arm or a hug. A silent acknowledgement that I was not alone.   

I must have been a hard one to convince; God had put all of these angels in my path but I have been consistently afraid.  From that fear evolved those demons of doubt, anger, and ungratefulness. But together with Bob, Chris, Dave, Mike, Farah (who helped me keep business accounts), and countless others giving me courage when I had none, I am finally “getting it.”   

Angels aren’t bouncing around on imaginary clouds; they are here in this life helping me, helping all of us stand on our own two feet. They have been here all the time. Small acts……drizzle. Faith.

It was only fitting that when my first grandchild was born (in Denver) last year, I was working in the Good Sam office.  Well wishers gathered around me as we looked at the first pictures coming in on the computer from my son’s mobile phone.   With the exception of my own family, I cannot imagine another group of people I would have wanted to be with me on that wonderful morning.   

Our next transition, retiring to Colorado to be closer to family, is fraught with the unknown.  It is the proverbial “leap of faith.”  The decision to move has been enormously difficult; it wasn’t just a house but our lives being reshuffled. 

I am still afraid; “are we doing the right thing?” crosses my mind daily. But the fear feels differently. It no longer paralyzes me.

I am encouraged, excited, looking forward.  I have many more mornings where I awaken with music in my head (usually from choir practice) than mornings where I had awakened with a sense of dread. I have had a colossal “possibility adjustment” (thanks to Chris, for that timely sermon). We take with us the love and the care and support that we have received in this community.   

I asked Bob one day how I would ever be able to replace this congregation, this community. He said simply, “You can’t.” 

But I can move forward and pass on what I have learned to new people we meet. I can be an advocate. Angels are all around us. All you have to do is look. Most importantly, we are God’s instruments here on this earth, in this life. We are here to take care of each other.   

Yes, I’ve “looked at clouds from both sides now, “as the Joni Mitchell song goes. And I will continue to check out those clouds from an airplane window (I think it’s in my DNA now)……..but I will be wiser, more trusting of God’s plan for us, and so very grateful for what I have been given.   

Faith…..what a beautiful blessing.  Thank you, Good Sam.

Where have you found your angels?

Meeting Hal Wiley....

by Barbara McBride

I first met Dr. Wiley at a board meeting of the Agnes Sanford Schools of Pastoral Care which was held in San Antonio.  Dr. Wiley joined the board, and over the years, I have been privileged to work with him both at board meetings and as a presenter.  

We were two of the presenters in a full week school in Ottawa, Canada, and he has led an School of Pastoral Care weekend here in San Diego County. I have found him to be a gentleman, a thoughtful, deep and interesting presenter who uses multi-media to make his point. 

He is well regarded as a dermatologist in Tampa, where he resides with his wife.   He is also an EFM mentor.  

 I was pleased that Fr. Chris and Rebecca and others from Good Sam were able to meet Dr. Hal Wiley at the 2011 North American Order of St Luke the Physician conference at USD this past June. Hal was leading an interactive (seminar) group at the conference.  Fr. Chris told me he was impressed with Dr. Wiley and at that time we talked about having Dr. Wiley come to Good Sam to lead a conference for us.  

I am thrilled that Good Sam will be hosting him in March, and I hope everyone will be able to make this retreat. I am sure that everyone who comes to hear Dr. Wiley will be equally impressed.What a wonderful way to start lent!  I know God has a special treat for each one who participates.

To register for or to learn more about our lenten retreat, "Where is God from Monday to Saturday", visit our website and follow the links.

Trying to Find a Welcoming Church Home

by Ann Carlton

When I moved here from Dallas and found Good Samaritan on Google, I did not feel at home immediately. 

I was accustomed to an altar rail and kneelers, having come from a "high church" parish where things are more formal.  

It was also strange not to have a coffee hour, the Women's Group was disbanding, and I didn't feel the sense of warmth that I expected. I even went to a Newcomers' Breakfast but didn't feel embraced.  

After attending Good Sam for several months, I started attending St. James, La Jolla, because it was more traditional, and stayed for over a year.  But St. James didn't reach out either, so I returned to Good Samaritan, determined to make it my church home.  

I have been more than pleased with that decision.

Now I feel a part of the Good Sam community. I have embraced this as my church home and opportunities have been and continue to be present where I feel invited to use some of my spiritual gifts.  I believe in discovering your spiritual gifts.  I've known all my life that hospitality is "me" and that's where I want to be.  

Building community and being part of the Good Samaritan family is so rewarding.


(This is reprinted from "40 Days of Devotions in Lent", 2011.) 

Change is Hard

by Verdery Kassebaum

When Arthur and I came to Good Samaritan in 1973, Good Samaritan was so small that the Christmas party was held someone’s house.

That’s what you call a small church!

When the “multipurpose building”—now Roetter Hall—was built, we had a place to gather during the week. You could get together with a few other folks without thinking about it.  If you wanted to talk to the priest, you just bopped in and chatted. 

We were still a small church.

And then we grew.  And other groups wanted to meet in our lovely buildings. And first the Antiochean church and then the Newman Community came and shared our space. And even though we weren’t as large as we wanted to be, we were really too large to be just dropping in, either as a group or individually to chat with the priest.

We weren’t really a small church anymore.

To grow further, we had make changes, mainly changes of structure and process and procedure. Instead of just showing up to talk with our rector, we had to ask the Administrative Assistant to schedule us an appointment. Instead of just gathering somewhere in the Worship Center or Roetter Hall, we had to get in touch with the Facilities Manager to make sure there was a space for us.

We weren’t a small church anymore.

And it was hard.  It was really hard for me to have to e-mail Leanne and say, “Hey, I’d like to talk with Chris. Can you make me an appointment?” And after a day or two she’d e-mail back, “How two weeks from now at 2:30?” It was really hard not to be able to have easy, ready access to someone so important to me. 

It still is.  Even though I’m working in the office five hours a day, five days a week, I don’t get to stick my head in the door and say, “Do you have a few minutes? I need your guidance on something.”  Either he’s working on something to make Good Sam an even better place, or counseling someone who needs it even more than I, or conferring with someone who’s crucial in making this parish work.

Change is hard.

As the keeper of the schedule, it’s hard for me to tell people, “I’m sorry, your group can’t meet tomorrow because all the spaces are full.”  It’s really embarrassing for us when folks show up for a meeting and find someone else already in “their” spot.  I don’t like to disappoint people, even if they haven’t done the planning we need to do nowadays.

We do want to grow. We do want to share the love of God and the friendship of our fellow Good Sammers. We’ve found something –someplace—wonderful and we want others to experience it.  And we forget—I forget—that I can’t just show up and do something or have something happen or be able to meet with someone. I have to plan ahead; I have to make an appointment; I have to make sure there’s a space for my gathering to happen. 

We’re not a small church anymore.

Change is often necessary in order for an organism to grow, to adapt, and the same is true for a church. Even as I had to let my beloved sons change and grow up into wonderful young men, I need to let my beloved church change and grow up into what God intends it to be; I need to be willing to change in order to keep up with it.

But it sometimes it is so hard. 

How are you finding the changes at Good Sam? What’s been hard? What’s been a blessing?

Has God Ever Talked to You?

by Dan Shawler

In the beginning God (Elohim) created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Ruah Elohim was hovering upon the face of the waters.  Genesis 1:1-2.

Has God ever spoken directly to you? It’s a transforming experience.  

Here is my story about the time God talked to me.

I spent my career doing cancer research. It’s a vocation I gravitated to after my sister died from glioma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. About 2 years ago the company I worked for ran out of money and it looked like it might go out of business. For the last 20 years my colleagues and I have been working on a technology that harnesses the body’s immune system to fight cancer.  

For me, this was more than a job, it was the continuation of work I had been doing for 20 years. For those 20 years, my life’s goal had been focused on developing a highly effective treatment for cancer; a treatment that our tests suggest would triple the life expectancy of patients with lung cancer and has no side effects, unlike all of the current treatments. In fact, as I thought this through and prayed on it, I discerned that this wasn’t just a job or a career, but that I was actively engaged in a ministry of healing.

So, when the company was in financial trouble and there was a possibility that the company would close in the middle of the final clinical trial that was needed before the treatment would be approved, it was difficult for me to handle. I had outstanding support, especially from my wife and rector, but the anxiety and stress levels were really high and I was having trouble coping with them.

It is my practice to take one or two short prayer breaks at work every day. I simply stop what I am doing, go outside, and walk around the building while talking to God about what is happening. More importantly, I try to listen to what God has to say. It takes only five minutes and it helps keep me focused on what is important.

On this particular day after some weeks of stress and uncertainty, I had given up on asking God to fix the problem and was simply praying to God for comfort. 

In the midst of this prayer I suddenly felt a strong, warm breeze blowing over me. Now the Hebrew word for Spirit, which is ruah, is also the word for wind or breeze. Through this ruah I immediately felt God’s comfort permeating me. As I realized God was actually talking to me the wind grew stronger and more intense. I was being hugged by God and it felt like it lasted forever, although I’m sure it lasted only a half a minute or so.

God told me that everything was in His hands and that I didn’t have to worry. After the encounter, I was able to let go of my stress and anxiety. I focused my energy on positive action and not on worry. Whether the company survived (which it did) or not was not important. What was important was the God directly told me that he had a plan for me and that I didn’t have to worry about it, I just had to follow the plan.

When we still our hearts and listen intently, God will talk to us and we will hear the word of God. And just as ruah hovering over the face of the waters transformed the darkness into light we will be transformed from darkness into light.

Has God ever spoken directly to you? 

Meet Our New Vestry Members: Bill Lacey

by Bill Lacey

Professional Background: For the last 23 years I have been employed by Employment and Community Options, (a non profit organization that assists individuals with developmental disabilities) in a variety of capacities but currently as their Southern California Regional Director. As a Regional Director I direct various programs and their teams on the service delivery to individuals with developmental disabilities and their pursuit for quality outcomes in the areas of employment, community inclusion, and independent living. Also currently, I instruct a workshop for SDSU six times annually on mental illness and co-occurring disorders in employment. Lastly, I have also proudly served as a United States Naval Reservist for 8 years, stationed at the Point Loma Subase.

Personal: Initially from Huntington, NY. Now live in Clairemont, married to Clare Lacey. Three children: Anna, a senior at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, AZ, Billy, a fourth grader at Holmes Elementary, and Benjamin, a first grader at Holmes Elementary.

Interest/Hobbies: Coached High School football for over 10 years at local east county high school. Coached youth soccer for three years, and currently coaching youth baseball in Clairemont. Enjoy being with my family, exercising, coaching/teaching, and worshiping Christ as my savior.

Church History: Began life as a Christian initially at Good Sam with Father Fred as rector (located at old elementary school on Governor Drive). As a child, my family left for St. David’s in Clairemont and I remained there until 2 years ago. While at St. David’s, I was active with various youth group activities and served on the vestry as junior warden for two years. The son of a priest, I spent most of my life in the church but not really understanding and reaching out to God until adulthood. 

I believe I have found a genuine home at Good Sam, where I can worship freely and be with others with similar interests, views, and passions. I have finally found Christ at Good Sam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meet Our New Vestry Members: Janet Herrman

by Janet Herrman

My husband Jerry, daughters Katie and Sarah, and I have been members at Good Samaritan for about 12 years. I previously served on the vestry and was part of the team that coordinated the renovation of Roetter Hall. Last year I took the big step of retiring from my job as the Administrative Services Manager for a local government agency after more than 34 years in public service. Throughout my career I developed expertise in administration—human resources, purchasing, facilities management, budget and financial management—which is very helpful as a member of the vestry. 

Although my skill set is in operations, I also have a passion for finding innovative and creative ways of solving problems. I want to continue to work to increase the visibility of Good Samaritan in our community, expand our outreach ministry, and look for new opportunities to develop programs to meet the spiritual needs of our members and the community at large.